A Court of Hash and Hyperfixation
Cannabis for ADHD & PTSD, explained like a fantasy saga with a shake of self-reclamation.
TLDR; Summary:
- After moving back to my hometown, PTSD triggers, a 100-year-old house, and being off my meds left me needing relief — so I turned to cannabis.
- Cannabis isn’t new to me, but now I’m getting my medical card for safer, consistent access.
- I break cannabis down into the elements of a story — genres, characters, tropes, world-building, and titles — to make the science easier to understand.
- I share my favorite “story titles” (strains) and how they actually feel for me, and include info for the Leafly database.
- Using cannabis for ADHD & PTSD isn’t a cure, but it’s a tool that helps me manage panic, reconnect with myself, and reclaim parts of my life skewed by ADHD and PTSD.
It’s been two months since I last wrote a blog post, right before we moved cross-state. I wanted to get back into writing sooner but my mental health wouldn’t allow it.
In my last post, I wrote about making the house/apartment/dorm/whatever you’re moving out of still feel like home despite most of your things being packed into boxes, and the opportunities of a new space. At that time, my husband and I were excited to move from Chicagoland back to our home town.
But with PTSD, new environments — even those you grew up around — don’t feel safe right away. Moving back to our hometown hit me harder than expected. After nearly 15 years away, I wasn’t sure how family and friend dynamics changed. What will they expect from me? Can I rely on them? This is also the same town where most of the assaults happened that led to the PTSD. That kind of history doesn’t just vanish.
As for our new, 100-year-old home: I couldn’t shake the feeling that I couldn’t trust it.
It “betrayed” me pretty quickly — water in the basement, leaks in the ceiling after my first bath in over a decade (we only had showers in our last few places), dud outlets, easily burnt fuses, asbestos, and so much more. It felt like the house let us down before we could even settle in.
To make things worse, I was off my meds for a month — too hyperfocused on moving, too drained or overwhelmed to even find the prescriptions I absentmindedly packed away. The result: Daily panic attacks for the first time in over two years.
I’m back on my meds now, but if you know SSRIs, you know they take their sweet time. After being off them so long, I knew it’d be another month before they started working again; before the panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, and suicidal ideation could stop. I needed relief in the meantime. So, I turned to cannabis.
Cannabis isn’t new in my life. I’ve been using it recreationally on-and-off for years when it became legal in Michigan while I was at the University of Michigan — not to escape, but to soften the edges of ADHD chaos and PTSD spirals. Some days it slows my brain down enough to actually enjoy being in my own skin. Other days it’s the reset button that turns down the volume in my brain after a long day.
I realized a depressive fog was twisting my perspective, making everything feel heavier than it really was. The truth is, my life is good. I’m fortunate to own a home… even though old homes have their issues. I’m glad to be back in my hometown surrounded by my OG support system, and I’ll pick up on the new family dynamics and add my little flare to it with time. I’m also lucky to be with the man I love, who also supports, respects, and loves me.
These were all revelations I had after taking one of my favorite strains, Blue Dream. Cannabis helped me see that I’ve been too harsh on myself and too critical of my environment, overthinking every little thing.
I recently decided to get my medical cannabis card. Not because I think cannabis will “fix” me. It won’t. But because I know my brain, my body, and my nervous system well enough to recognize what actually helps me. Maybe it can help you, too.
It’s especially important to get a medical card if your state hasn’t yet legalized cannabis for recreational use. This will give you consistent access to safe product that you can reliably take to see which strains work best for you.
I’ll write about the process of getting a medical marijuana card in another post, so stay tuned.

Prologue: Weed & Your Values
And because I’m me, I don’t just use cannabis — I get hyperfixated on it. I need to know how it works, which strains help with PTSD & ADHD, and what the hell all the jargon means.
That’s what I want to share here: the basics. Not a medical manual, not a one-size-fits-all guide, just the essentials I’ve picked up that might help you understand your options.
But here’s the thing: Just because one strain works well for me doesn’t mean it’ll work the same for you. Cannabis boils down to chemistry: How cannabinoids interact with your body’s unique wiring. What calms me might agitate you. What sparks creativity for you might sedate me. You know, biology and shit.
Before you even get into the jargon and all the strains, it’s worth asking yourself why you’re considering cannabis and whether it lines up with your values. For a long time, it didn’t align with mine. In the military, one positive test for marijuana could get you less than honorably discharged. I watched people lose everything — free VA healthcare, GI Bill, VA home loan, disability compensation — all because they smoked a joint. Their bright futures = gone in an instant.
So, back then while serving in the military, cannabis didn’t fit into my personal values. But now it does, specifically how I look at my “wellbeing” value: Protecting my mental and physical health as a daily non-negotiable. Although the long-term effects of cannabis use are generally unknown, it’s something that can help with the gnawing depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. For now, enjoying my life and having everything in moderation is what’s most important to me.
I’ve linked my Values Workbook if you’d like to try a values sort for yourself. I revisit mine at least once a year to check in with what matters most to me and where I want to focus my energy for my wellbeing.
Check out my Values Workbook & discover what you value most:

Cannabis Lore
Now let’s get to the good stuff!
The world of cannabis can feel like an overwhelming library — shelves stacked with strange names, labels, and jargon. Indica? Sativa? Myrcene? Cannflavins? It’s a lot.
For me, it’s easier to think of the cannabis jargon as elements of a story. The strain categories (indica, sativa, hybrid) are the genres — Romance, Fantasy, or a mix of both (Fantasy Romance). Within those genres, terpenes are the tropes that set the tone, things like mentorship relationships, objects of power, fate, forbidden bonds, etc. And the cannabinoids (THC, CBD, CBG, CBN) are like the main characters who drive the plot forward.
Even the background cast matters: The flavonoids are the color palette and world-building details that make the story unique — subtle, but powerful in the right context. And finally, the specific strains are the title of the story.
And just like you can enjoy a story as an audiobook, paperback, e-reader, etc., you can enjoy cannabis through vapes, joints, edibles, or even infused recipes, and more. But I won’t get into that here.
So, here we go…
- Strain Categories (Genres): These are the broad groups cannabis are usually divided into. They give you a general idea of what kind of effects you can expect before you even know the terpene or cannabinoid profile.
- Indica: Linked to body relaxation, sedation, and calm. (“In-da-couch.”)
- Sativa: Linked to energy, creativity, and mental stimulation; can sometimes trigger anxiety.
- Hybrid: Genetic mix of indica and sativa; effects depend on which side is dominant.

- Cannabinoids (Main Characters): There are 100+ types of cannabinoids but here are the four most common you’ll see labeled in dispensaries and what they do.
- THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol): The main psychoactive compound — creates the “high.” Helps with pain relief, nausea, appetite stimulation, sleep. Watch out for anxiety or paranoia at higher sativa doses (see below).
- CBD (Cannabidiol): Non-psychoactive — doesn’t get you high. Helps with calming your nervous system, reducing inflammation, seizures, and mild pain. Works best with THC (the “entourage effect”).
- CBG (Cannabigerol): Known as the “mother cannabinoid” — other cannabinoids (like THC & CBD) come from it. Helps with focus, gut health, inflammation, possibly neuroprotection. Usually found in smaller amounts, but gaining popularity in oils and blends.
- CBN (Cannabinol): A breakdown product of THC — often found in older cannabis. Helps with sedation and sleep. Often marked as natural sleep aid.

- Terpenes (Tropes): Here are the “big five” you’ll see most often in dispensaries. Terpenes are naturally occuring compounds that give the strains flavor, aroma, and subtle effects.
- Limonene: citrus aroma with an uplifting effect.
- Myrcene: earthy, sedating.
- Pinene: pine, focus.
- Linalool: floral, calming.
- Terpinolene: herbal, energizing.
- Other notable terpenes include:
- Humulene: hoppy, appetite suppressant.
- Caryophyllene: peppery, unique because it also binds to your body’s cannabinoid receptors.
- Ocimene: sweet, uplifting.

- Flavonoids (World Building Details): Compounds that give plants color and may add therapeutic effects. There are around 20 in cannabis but six that show up most often and their effects are usually so subtle that dispensaries don’t really get into the benefits of flavonoids.
- Cannflavins (A, B, & C): Unique to cannabis. Known for anti-inflammatory and pain relieving properties.
- Quercetin: Found in many fruits/veggies too. Known for antioxidant and antiviral properties. In cannabis it contributes to flower color and protection against stress.
- Kaempferol: Also found in chamomile and parsley. Known for calming, anti-anxiety effects. In cannabis it may contribute to relaxation.
- Luteolin: Also found in celery and peppers. Known for antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties.
- Anthocyanins: Found in blueberries and grapes too. Responsible for purple, blue, and red hues in some strains. Also provides antioxidants.

Okay, now that we’ve got the science-y stuff down, let’s talk about the fun part, where all these story elements become a unified allegory: the strains. Here are some of my favorites, how they work for me, and what type of stories I imagine them being.
- Specific Strains (Story Titles): Strain names are the labels growers give specific varieties of cannabis. Some titles are downright WEIRD, so just roll with it.
- Blue Dream (Balanced Hybrid): Balanced head + body high. Euphoric, creative, and energizing up front with a calm, relaxed finish. Great for parties and general daytime use without heavy sedation. It’s like Sarah J. Maas’ “A Court of Thorns and Roses” series and getting to participate in Winter Solstice’s Starlight.
- Northern Lights (Indica): Deeply relaxing, body-heavy, and sleep-inducing. Known for calming anxiety, easing pain, and helping with insomnia. A classic nighttime strain. It’s like Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice,” because you just know Elizabeth will end up with the one who’s best suited for her, to hell with social dynamics, and that’s comforting.
- Trainwreck (Sativa-Dominant Hybrid): Fast hitting cerebral high with euphoria, creativity, and energy. Can feel intense, great for productivity or social energy, but may be overwhelming if you’re sensitive to THC. It’s like Sarah J. Mass’ “Throne of Glass” series and how it can be a little too fantasy-leaning and serious but is still enjoyable.
- Strawberry Cough (Sativa) & White Widow CBD: Strawberry cough is uplifting, euphoric, and giggly. Known for easing social anxiety and sparking energy without being too racy, but the high comes on quick and can give me a headache, so I take it with White Widow CBD which is very high in CBD and helps my nervous system through the rollercoaster of cerebral sensations. Together, it’s the “happy, talkative” strains. When CBD and THC are taken together it’s called “The Entourage Effect.” It’s like the first four books in J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” series, when everything feels whimsical.
- Side note: You usually can’t get pure CBD in dispensaries but you can go to a head shop or CBD shop to purchase. Just be sure to look up the blend on the manufacturer’s website to ensure it has a Certificate of Analysis (COA).
- Miracle Alien Cookies #1 (Balanced Hybrid): See, a weird ass title. MAC-1 is like a feel-good party mix for me. It loosens up tension, makes me laugh, and gives me that “let’s have fun” energy while still keeping me grounded. It’s like Jennifer L. Armentrout’s “From Blood and Ash” series, similar to the levity Casteel (and Miss Willa) brings Poppy’s life.

If you’re curious to explore more strains beyond my favorites, Leafly is one of the best places to browse for and order cannabis. It’s got thousands of strain entries with lab-tested cannabinoid and terpene profiles, user reviews, effects summaries, and it can help you find which local dispensaries offer the strains you want and order them online for in store pick-up. Think of it like the Goodreads of cannabis — a giant library where you can look up any strain or “story title” and see what other users/readers thought of it. I learned most of what I shared through Leafly and chatting with my local budtenders.
I also recently stumbled upon Dr. Riley Kirk’s body of work and how she’s advocating for reducing stigma against marijuana on social media. Dr. Kirk also recently wrote a book about using marijuana for wellness called “Refer Wellness.” Cannabis Now reports “Ultimately, Dr. Kirk wrote the book for her younger self. ‘I wish I had this resource when I first started using cannabis,’ she says. ‘It’s not financially accessible for someone to try 50 different strains and five consumption methods to figure out what works. So it’s about pairing daily consumer knowledge with science to reduce barriers and give people a good starting point.'”

Final Thoughts
Using cannabis for ADHD & PTSD won’t work like magic and it won’t erase the ailments. But for me, it’s been one of the most reliable tools in my kit. It’s a way to soften the edges, calm my nervous system, and even give me a new perspective when things get overwhelming.
What I want you to take away isn’t that you should use cannabis, but that you should feel empowered to find tools that align with your values and help you function. For me, that looks like Blue Dream, Northern Lights, Trainwreck, Strawberry Cough, and MAC-1. For you, it probably looks different, and that’s okay.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing a few big journeys with you including what it’s like to get a medical cannabis card, and how I’m designing our new home on a shoestring budget. (Since buying the house, we’ve paid off and closed our credit cards.) Shopping was my go-to dopamine rush for ADHD and coping mechanism for PTSD, but it looks like cannabis has stepped in where those things used to be. Anyway, now my ADHD brain gets to take the wheel in a whole new way, not through impulse buys, but by getting creative, resourceful, and scrappy AF while decorating and restoring our 100-year-old house.
I’ll also continue sharing how I’m navigating some of the hardest, most personal chapters of my adult life. My husband and I are trying to have a baby, which means more sex, but when you carry sexual trauma, intimacy isn’t always simple, especially when it feels forced. Cannabis has helped me quiet the panic, ease back into my body, and actually be present with the man I love. But other things have helped, too. And I’ll share what those things are another time. (And how I plan to cope with my mental health during pregnancy, without cannabis.)
Until then — keep listening to your body, honoring your values, and don’t be afraid to do what’s right for yourself.
